i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
