im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
