You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
