Don't you send me to vm
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He better not be in your backpack
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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