I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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