Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
