found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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