I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
