he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize