Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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