It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I understand Curling. That high.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
