"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
