Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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