I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
