i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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