she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
