i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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