Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
