I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
