This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
