My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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