I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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