I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
