Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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