Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
