I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
