that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
