I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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