We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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