It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
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Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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