In the future we'll all be gay
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
