Sry I called you an 8
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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