The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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