around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The beer is more important than you right now.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
