I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
