what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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