Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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