This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
