Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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