when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
