i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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