so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
