I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
