He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
