I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
