Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no, he came in my armpit
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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