I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
