my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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