Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize