I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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