ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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