I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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