if i died would you start the facebook group?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
