You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize