Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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