Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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