yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
