I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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