This girl is more easily done than said...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
