If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
