so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
my poor anus
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
