He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize