dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
