i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize