ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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