Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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